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How do you know when it is
time for the nursing home? My mom is 94 and has
dementia/early Alzheimer's. I am her sole caregiver and I am
not able to leave her alone anymore. Funds are limited for
sitters and my children say it is time for a nursing home.
Mom is not ill. It is just the dementia. Will a nursing home
take her?
You have to be able to leave
the house on a regular basis to take care of your own
physical and emotional needs, and you can't leave your
mother alone. As the funds aren't there to pay for help, and
you live alone with your mother, circumstances and her
continuing decline are telling you that it's probably
"time."
Every family, and every caregiver, has their own way of
coming to the decision that "it's time." Most often the need
for 24-hour care is the final push, because no one can give
this kind of care alone.
If your mother needs help with her activities of daily
living (ADLs) such as using the toilet, bathing, dressing,
moving around, or eating, or if she needs continuing
supervision and someone to manage her medications, then she
will most likely qualify for care in a nursing home. If she
will need financial assistance from Medicaid you would be
wise to begin looking now, as some nursing homes have long
waiting lists for Medicaid spaces.
Once both you and your mother have begun to make the
adjustment to new living arrangements you may find that you
are both healthier and happier. She will have stimulation
through the day and more social opportunities. You may feel
the beneficial effects of not having to be on call every
minute.
Even when you aren't providing 24-hour care, you will still
be her advocate and caregiver. Becoming "partners" with her
new caregivers will give you the space to enjoy the time you
spend with her that you don't have now, because you are so
consumed by the demands of caring for her.
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