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How To Talk To Someone
With Dementia
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Communication can become a challenge with
someone who has Alzheimer's Disease or another
form of dementia. Each person will react
differently, and individual reactions can change
from day to day, or even from hour to hour. The
person with dementia is no longer able to be
flexible, which means that we have to be the
ones to make any necessary accommodations.
There are a few simple rules that will help when
trying to communicate with someone who may be
confused and forgetful:
1. Your body language and your tone of voice
communicate just as much as your words. Try
to remain relaxed and speak slowly and calmly,
using simple words and sentences.
2. Always identify yourself, even if you are
certain that the person you are speaking with
should know who you are. The person with
dementia may be unable to retrieve your name.
You will avoid embarrassing him or her if you
give a verbal clue by saying, "Hi, it's Marcia."
3. Try to avoid questions. "What did you
have for lunch?" can backfire if the person you
are talking with doesn't remember having had
lunch. If you have to ask a question, choose to
phrase it so the person with dementia can answer
"Yes," or "No." Avoid asking, "Don't you
remember?" Don't insist on getting an answer to
any question, as that may cause the person with
dementia to become frustrated and upset.
4. Remember that memories are not always
accurate. If the person you are talking with
says something that you know is incorrect, avoid
correcting the facts. Use statements, incorrect
or otherwise, to get the conversation flowing:
"Oh, your mother is coming to visit? I bet she
was a great cook. Tell me about her."
5. Keep it short. If the person with
dementia lives with you, it will be natural to
have short spurts of communication throughout
the day. If you are visiting, a successful visit
can become uncomfortable for both you and the
person with dementia if it goes on too long.
Sometimes 15 to 20 minutes is more than enough.
Plan to make another short visit and gently take
your leave if you sense that the person you are
visiting is growing tired, anxious or more
confused.
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