Sooner
or later, the questions will come up for all of us: What
do we do first - second - and then - when someone dies? It's not
a question most people want to think about. But when it happens
a lot of things need to be done quickly. It helps to have
a list tucked away.
If the death occurs in a hospital, the family may be asked to
consider making a gift of life by donating usable organs to
someone who desperately needs them. If the family consents, then arrangements for the donation may
begin quickly. The family will be allowed to stay with the
deceased person as long as possible.
If organ donation is not possible, the hospital will make
arrangements for the body to be taken either to the medical
examiner or a designated funeral home.
When the family is ready to leave the hospital, someone should
plan to stay behind to gather the deceased's personal
possessions, if that hasn't already been done.
If death happens at home and a hospice agency has been seeing
the patient, then the death is not totally unexpected. The
hospice nurse will come to the home and make all of the
immediately necessary calls and arrangements. A funeral home has
usually already been chosen by the family, and the hospice nurse
will make the call.
If death was unexpected and did not happen at a hospital,
emergency medical personnel will probably have responded. The
body will most likely be taken to the medical examiner for a
determination about the cause of death.
The medical examiner's office will ask the family which funeral
home they would like to use after the formalities have been
completed. The family will usually have a little time to make
that decision.
Then, there will be a number of things to do:
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Call
the appropriate pastor, priest or rabbi
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Arrange
for support for surviving family, including child care
if necessary
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Appoint
someone to call immediate relatives, close friends,
employer. Look for address books and consult with
family members about who to call
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Arrange
care for pets if necessary
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Make
arrangements for the immediate family to have as much
privacy as they need and want
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Arrange
for someone other than a bereaved family member to
answer phone calls and take messages
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Arrange
for another person to answer the door, accept
deliveries, and keep a list of who delivered what so
that acknowledgements can be sent later
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Arrange
for food donations to the family for the next three or
four days
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Look
for any written funeral or burial wishes. Encourage
family to talk about what the deceased's wishes would
have been
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Contact
the newspaper and ask about costs and requirements for
publishing an obituary. Ask about extra charges for
photographs
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If
an obituary will be published, appoint someone to write
the first draft. If funeral arrangements will be
published in the paper, someone should volunteer to
remain at the home during the services
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Make
an appointment for at least two people, one of them with
a clear head for business, to visit the funeral home.
The spiritual leader, priest, minister or rabbi can be
very helpful with funeral or memorial planning
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Arrange
for the funeral home to obtain at least 7 or 8 copies of
the death certificate. These will be needed later
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Arrange
for any separate cemetery or burial needs
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Select
pallbearers
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Appoint
someone to keep accurate records of all expenditures
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Arrange
for the time and location of funereal/memorial services
to be communicated
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Arrange
for out-of-towners to have a place to stay, either in
private homes or at a hotel/motel
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Notify
Social Security and Medicare, Medicaid, pensions,
employers and any other agencies. Any checks that arrive
from these sources should not be cashed until you have
official instructions.
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This is
all that needs to be done right away. There will be time
later to make decisions about the estate. If the deceased had an
attorney, a CPA, or a financial advisor it would be a good idea
to contact these professionals soon to ask what needs to be done
right away, and what can wait.
If the deceased owned a business or was engaged in any complex
financial dealings, it might be necessary to move fairly
quickly. Otherwise, there is no need to rush.
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