How Much Longer?

My mother has had type 2 diabetes poorly controlled for many years. She has vascular dementia and has stopped eating solids for more than two months. She has lost a large amount of weight and she is living on supplement drinks like Ensure and water. She was wheel chair bound for a year and is now bed bound for the last month. She is very thirsty and needs mouth care. She seems to be only able to talk in mumbled sentences with only one or two words understandable. What can I expect for life expectancy if things continue the way they are without any large problem like stroke or heart attack? My family is calling me for updates. My doctor just tells me she is on a slippery slope but it doesn't help me give my family answers.

How wonderful it would be if I could give you a better answer than your mother's doctor, but of course I can't. Perhaps you could make an appointment to have a private face-to-face conversation with her physician. Let him know that you understand it's impossible to predict how long anyone might have, and that you aren't asking for certainty. Ask him what you might reasonably expect to happen next, and how you might best make your mother comfortable.

Many doctors are reluctant to predict life expectancy because no two patients are the same, and so often predictions are wrong. You might ask if he thinks it's time to begin hospice care. Your doctor can make a referral to hospice if he believes that your mother has a life expectancy of six months or less. If he is willing to make the referral, he is giving you valuable information, even if he's reluctant to make a definite prediction.

If he offers hospice care, I certainly recommend that you take advantage of hospice services. These compassionate nurses, therapists and support professionals can help you assure her comfort wherever she is receiving care - at home or in a nursing facility. They are experienced with end-of-life care and will usually give you as much information and guidance as they possibly can.

Since your mother is still able to communicate, even if only a little bit, it might be time for close family members to consider making a visit.