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I had to put my mother in a nursing home after the neighbors found her wandering around not able to find her way back to her house several times. She has dementia and she can't do much by herself any more. We had to put her in a nursing home because we do not have the money to pay for the fancy assisted living places. I am a stay at home mom with 3 kids. I home school. My sister lives out of town and has a full time job. My Mom is not happy at the nursing home. I try to go by almost every day and she cries every time. My sister thinks I should bring her to my house because I don't work and she would be happier there. I could make the space, but I really don't want to. My husband says it's up to me. How can I make my sister see that I can't take care of her as well as they do in the nursing home?
It never ceases to amaze me how eager some people are to volunteer others. You may never be able to convince your sister that you have made the right decision for your mother, yourself, and your family. As long as you know you have, does it really matter? With three children, a home school schedule and the usual kids' activities you couldn't possibly provide the care and supervision your mother needs now. If she can't afford assisted living she certainly couldn't afford to pay for caregivers, and caregivers in your home would only add to the confusion. The last thing anyone with dementia needs is a confusing environment. Have you had a chance to talk with the nurses and the social worker at her nursing home? It's quite possible that your mother has actually settled in fairly well, and that she remembers to cry only when you visit. If she's still having a hard time making the adjustment, perhaps a little extra TLC from the activities director and volunteers will help.
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