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Your
home is now miles and hours away from your parent.
The best thing would be to move Mom or Dad closer…or
would it? There are a lot
of reasons why it might make sense to relocate an aging parent
closer to the rest of the family.
But,
before you suggest a move, give it some serious thought.
Be sure that this move would really be the best thing for
all of you. Once you have
made the commitment to relocate, it will be next to impossible
to undo.
Following
are some important things to think about before you make the
decision to relocate an older person:
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Can
my elder get along without me (at least for a while?)
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If
my elderly parent doesn't depend on me for regular
assistance now, can the move wait until I have had a
chance to learn about local elder resources here?
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If I am
working long hours, how much will I be able to assist my
parent after the move?
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Who
will select, pack, or sell possessions?
Will a house have to be sold?
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Social
Life
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Is
my elder confident enough to venture out and to make new
friends in a strange place?
Will s/he be leaving a good network of supportive
friends?
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If
my aging parent is driving on familiar streets now, will
s/he be able and safe to do so on unfamiliar territory,
where the traffic may be much heavier?
Is transportation available, or will I have to be
the chauffeur?
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Important
Medical Questions |
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Does
my elder have a long and close relationship with current
physicians? Can
we find equivalent physicians who will treat an elderly
person? Many
specialists, in particular, have reduced or closed their
Medicare practices.
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Will
health insurance transfer to this area?
HMOs are geographically limited.
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Financial
Issues
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Is
the new cost of living affordable?
Social Security and retirement income will not be
adjusted if your parent moves to a place with a higher
cost of living.
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If
s/he is currently receiving state benefits or
assistance, what will the requirements be to qualify in
the new location? Even
within the same state, there is often a wait before
services resume at a new address.
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If
a house must be sold, what are the financial (tax and
other) consequences?
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And
the most important question of all…what does the elder think?
If he is competent and able to make his own decisions,
does he want to relocate?
Will you spend hours of effort and anxiety trying to find
the “perfect” answer, only to be told to mind your own
business?
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