What you are describing is sometimes
called "Sundowning." It is very common in those with
dementia. At the end of the day their coping resources
seem to be just about exhausted. There seems to be a very
real desire to get to a place where they remember feeling
safe, secure, and loved. Because recent memory is now
impaired, the sundowner usually wants to go back to a
place from the past. They don't recognize the place they
now live as "home" because the home they lived in as a
child is much more vivid in their memory. No wonder they
want to go "home."
You probably won't be able to convince
your father that he is "at home." It would be like
trying to convince you that you are on the moon. You
simply know better, and so does he.
Here is an article with
more information about sundowning. The most obvious
thing to do is to try distraction, but when someone with
dementia gets an idea it's sometimes impossible to replace
that idea with a new one. Try suggesting a cup of cocoa
"before you go," (substitute whatever you think he would
like). Sometimes a brief ride in the car and then
returning will do it. Sometimes nothing you can do will
distract a sundowner from his appointed task, and you may
be facing a catastrophic reaction.
If this happens, by all means contact
his doctor as soon as possible. There may be a light
medication that will help his growing evening anxiety.
