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Seniors are a lot
less likely than we are to speak up to their doctors.
"Young" doctors today (anyone under the age of 60 can
be a "young" doctor to a senior) don't have the time
to sit and chat the way the family doctor did several decades
ago.
The doctor often feels rushed, and we
can usually tell when someone wants to move on. Some older folks
are reluctant to demand that their questions be answered if it
means holding up the doctor. On the other hand, even
when the doctor seems to have all the time in the world, quite a few older patients (younger ones,
too) don't respond well to stress. They forget many of the
questions they wanted to ask. So, the doctor doesn't hear about
the new symptom or concern. He can't treat what he doesn't know
about.
If your elder is having difficulty communicating with the doctor
or other medical professionals, it's time to step in and offer
to help.
This is something you can do no matter where you are. It just
takes a little more creativity if you can't be right there in
the examining room.
Hollering Doesn't Help
First, try not to
holler. Your parent knows what he or she "should" have
done. Recriminations won't help.
Second, be direct. Ask your parent if he or she wants you to
help the next time there's a doctor's appointment. Is your
parent open to having you be a part of something that's always
been private in the past?
Would she like you to telephone the doctor and ask the questions
that still need answers?
If the answer is "no," then unless your parent is
really not competent, you have to back off and let him or her
handle things. You don't have permission to meddle.
If the answer is "yes," you're halfway home.
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