Nonverbal Communication
With Dementia

A gentleman I know is sad because he can no longer talk with his wife. Conversations seem impossible as her language is scrambled and 'nonsensical'. I suggested he do some painting or drawing with her or some other forms of creative shared activity, both to stimulate her and perhaps release her, and him to something more satisfying. I've been looking for any research or experience in other forms of communication than language with dementia sufferers, to help him so he can spend time with his wife with more pleasure and satisfaction for both.

Communicating with someone who has dementia is generally a catch-as-catch-can undertaking. Because the disease is progressive what works today may not work tomorrow. And what hasn't worked may suddenly be useful again as the patient has a better day.

Other activities might be looking at photographs together, listening to music and singing along (people with speech difficulties can often sing the lyrics to songs from the past even when they cannot speak coherent sentences). Simply holding hands while taking a walk through the neighborhood or through the house can be a form of communication.

The most important thing to remember is that we must adapt our way of communicating to the abilities of our loved ones. We cannot force them into our way. Often people with dementia will communicate through their behavior. It is difficult, but it is our job to try to figure out what is being communicated. Often we fail, but we continue to make the attempt. Reassurance that they are loved and appreciated is very important.

There have been many studies that confirm the needs of our loved ones to feel that their abilities are respected, even if they cannot communicate verbally with us. Unfortunately, there is no study I know of that demonstrates exactly how to communicate with the cognitive difficulties of Alzheimer's or the other dementias. This is because these diseases affect each person differently. What may work for one will never work for all.