Whether your parent is going to a nursing home permanently or for a short rehabilitation stay, what to pack will be one of your first questions. You will have time to refine your list after your parent is situated, but this will get you started.

Don't do a lot of shopping. You don't need to add shopping to your "to do" list right away. Your parent will probably be more comfortable wearing familiar clothing at first, anyway. Wait until your parent has been there for several days. that way you will have a better idea of what, if anything, needs to be purchased and what would be a waste of money and time.

If you do eventually have to shop, do it where you can buy most economically. Clothing, especially socks, WILL disappear. Buying replacements from Target or WalMart will be easier on the budget.

Before you pack, check with the facility about their laundry policies. If they will be doing the laundry, how often do they wash? If once weekly, then your parent will need at least 8 days' of clothing, and more if serious incontinence is an issue. If they do laundry more frequently, then plan on one more day than "should" be needed. If you will be managing the laundry, then you should plan to pack enough for at least three or four days.

If the facility will be managing the laundry, then pack only clothing that is wash and wear, and that can withstand hot washing and drying. Never send clothing that must be dry cleaned.

Invest in a good, dark permanent marking pen. Sew-in tags are even better than marking pens, but few families have time to order these and get them in to every article of clothing in the time available. That can come later if your parent will be staying. Plan on marking EVERY SINGLE article of clothing as well as every tube, jar, comb and other personal item.

Nursing Home Packing List: Clothing

• 5 "Outfits". If your parent will be participating in rehabilitation therapy send comfortable slacks or sweat pants and tops. Skirts and dresses do not lend themselves to physical therapy. If your parent is incontinent or unable to get two wearings from an outfit, then send 8 or enough to last between washings. Elastic waistbands on slacks or pants are easiest to use.

• Underwear: Enough sets to last from one laundry day to the next, plus at least one. If incontinent, add at least three extra pair of panties/undershorts.

• Socks, stockings: One pair per day, plus one.

• Nightclothes: Three sets, or one per night if incontinent. No floor length gowns as these can be a trip hazard.

• Robes: Two, no longer than knee length

• Slippers: One pair, two if incontinent and slippers might need to be washed. Closed slippers are safer and more comfortable than backless. Be sure to label.

• Shoes: One pair of sturdy, supportive rubber-sole shoes if the patient will be participating in rehabilitation therapy or walking in the facility. No shoes with slick leather soles. No "slides" or other shoes that can slip off and be a trip hazard.

• Sweaters: Two. Seniors are frequently chilly, even in the summer

• Coat/Hat if your senior will be leaving the facility and the weather warrants.

Nursing Home Packing List: Toiletries and Personal Care

• Reading glasses
• Hearing aid kit/batteries
• Toothbrush/denture brush/floss
• Toothpaste/denture cleaner & cup
• Deodorant
• Body lotion/face cream
• Shampoo/conditioner
• Comb & brush
• Nail clippers/emery board
• Cosmetics/Shaving equipment
• Hand mirror with stand
• DOP kit/cosmetic bag
• Writing materials/pens
• $5 in assorted change

Do not pack anything of high value or that will be personally traumatic if lost. Encourage your parent to leave all rings and other jewelry with you. If your parent wears a valuable wrist watch, substitute an inexpensive watch. Keep all credit cards, health insurance cards, Social Security Cards, checkbooks and other important "stuff" with you.