"The next time he makes us come in for no reason I'm going to run him down with Dad's wheelchair! Do these doctors not realize how hard it is to get someone like Dad in to their offices? I drive 45 minutes each way, fight to get Dad into the car, fight for a parking place, fight to get him into the wheelchair, make three trips to the bathroom with him while we're waiting, and then the doctor says the tests were clear and we can come back in three months!"

Dana is so angry she splutters as she relives her most recent visit to the doctor with her father. "Why," she quivers with indignation, "do they make you come back to the office for nothing? He could have told me that over the phone! When they said the doctor couldn't give us the results over the phone I was terrified. I thought Dad had something awful! I had to worry for a week, and I had to leave work again to bring Dad in...for nothing???!!!"

In a completely unscientific poll with nothing but our experience and the experience of caregivers we know to back it up, we're seeing ever more doctors and their staff being unwilling to give follow up information over the phone. Patients are being told to make an appointment to come in "to talk about the results."

This causes needless worry on the part of patients and caregivers alike. When we're told that "the doctor wants to see you to discuss the results," we've been conditioned to expect bad news. Traditionally, doctors have wanted to deliver bad news face to face. So we worry when the doctor "wants to see us."

It also requires needless effort, time, and expense. Too many doctors seem to have no idea how difficult it can be to transport a frail, elderly person to and from their offices. We sometimes wonder whether any of them have ever tried heaving a typical wheelchair in and out of the trunk multiple times in a morning. We're quite sure they've never spent two hours in their own waiting room trying to entertain a confused elder who took Lasix that morning and needs to go to the restroom...again.

Whether it's because more physicians are practicing self-protective medicine, or perhaps it's because they can charge more for an office visit than they can for a telephone call (I would really hate to think that's the reason), we do see the trend increasing. So what can you do to protect yourself and your elder from this annoyance?

You can push back if you do it early in the game.

When the doctor wants to wait for lab or other test results, before he leaves the examination room be sure to ask whether you can receive follow up information via phone. Most of us never think to ask, and the office staff is trained to make you come back in for the information. So ask the doctor whether he or his nurse will give you the test results by phone and call in any new prescriptions to the pharmacy. If he says, "no," you have every right to press him politely about his reasons.

Many doctors do these things through habit. If you can demonstrate the time and discomfort involved in bringing in your parent you may even help his other patients in the same boat. If you're able to make your case, be sure he writes a note in the chart that his nurse (or whoever) may provide results by phone.

If he has a valid reason for wanting you to come back, does your parent also have to attend? Especially if your parent is confused or otherwise needs you to be there to interpret and remember what's said, perhaps a simple release of information form will permit you to run by for that conference without your elder. While this is clearly second runner-up to a phone call, and still involves time and expense, it at least relieves you of having to drag your parent around needlessly. If your name is not in the office chart as someone who may legally receive information about your parent without your parent being present, you may have to rectify that.

If the doctor won't discuss the issue, then you have a decision to make about whether you want to stay with the practice, or whether you will look for a more flexible doctor. If it does come to that, don't burn any bridges until you have found a replacement. And if it does, be sure to have the conversation about "unnecessary" office visits with the new doctor before you jump ship.

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