With every road we take there comes a time when we must decide whether we should continue on the first path we chose, or whether we should choose another route. Most people who are caring for an elderly person will eventually ask themselves the question. Each one of us will ask the question at a different point on our own individual road.

As caregivers we tend to avoid even asking the question until we're so worn out and exhausted that we can hardly move. Many of us believe that because we long ago committed to personally care for our senior, we'd be breaking a solemn promise by looking for help or handing care off to someone else when we've reached the breaking point.

Many of us don't even realize we've reached that breaking point until we collapse. By then we have a whole lot fewer choices than if we had begun looking for alternatives earlier. The one who often pays the price right along with us is our elder. 

Here's how to know when you're getting close to your breaking point. If you see any of these signs, it's past time to "quit" and look for help and new ways to give care:

Is Your Physical Health Being Affected?

If being the primary caregiver is beginning to affect your physical health it is time to consider alternatives. If your blood pressure is high, you have injured your back or your knees, you have constant headaches, there's a pain in your stomach or your chest, you know you must find another way before caregiving puts you in the hospital or worse. Your elder will survive being cared for by someone else. You may not survive to see it.

Is Caregiving Affecting Your Mental Health?

Are you having difficulties with anxiety or depression? Are you drinking more than you should? It's time to pass the caregiving torch before you begin taking your stress out on your elder.

Is Being the Primary Caregiver Affecting Your Personal Relationships in a Negative Way?

If your obligations to your parent are damaging your marriage or your relationships with your children you must find other means of providing care. You must give your first allegience to the welfare of your immediate family. If you have given up your friendships and outside activities, you are in danger of losing your mental health, which will also inevitably damage your family.

Is Caregiving Destroying You Financially?

The process of aging has only one ultimate outcome. If you destroy your own financial security in order to provide care, the end result for your senior can at best only be delayed. In the meantime, you will have destroyed your own senior safety net and bequeathed the cost of your care either to your children or to the State. Neither is a fair or a reasonable choice. Look for other options.

If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, it is time to look for other care options now. If being the one to provide care is affecting your mental health, your physical health, your financial security or your personal relationships, it is time NOW to do whatever you must to reduce the burden of care. To do anything otherwise is unfair to your family, your elder, and yourself.