"Eat well, exercise, take your vitamins, remember to take care of yourself because if you don't... ." All good advice about how caregivers can physically care for themselves, and all advice that we've heard a thousand times before. But burnout is just as often mental and emotional. How can we avoid hitting that place where we feel that we no longer care, no longer want to care, and possibly no longer even feel bad about not caring?

If you've been caregiving for any length of time you've probably experienced these feelings to some degree. Early on you may have expected to accomplish volumes. Now sometimes you're happy if you can get through the day without crying or screaming.

So what can you do to keep yourself from hitting that emotional wall when you're starting to feel stuck, guilty and overwhelmed?

1. Create an action plan. Gather the available information and decide where you want to go and what steps it will take to get there. Keep your goals small and manageable...make an achievable, actionable goal out of each small step. Each small goal met is a step closer to your ultimate destination.

2. Look close enough and you will see small accomplishments every day. Look for ways to reward yourself. Whether you choose to treat yourself with a piece of good chocolate or an afternoon nap, choose a reward that you won't have to wait long to enjoy. When you first start, any success may be a reason to reward yourself. As you become less stressed you may aim for bigger, less frequent rewards.

3. Caregiving can be lonely. Identify someone you can trust who will listen without judgment, support you when you are headed down the right path, and help you change course when your goals are unrealistic.

4. Find someone whose caregiving skills you admire and model what they do. Someone who has had some success navigating the roadblocks you're now facing can be a useful role model. In every situation ask yourself, "What would X do?" A caregiver support group is a good place to look for role models.

5. Monitor your internal conversations. When things go wrong, and they will, are you constantly revisiting and blaming yourself for things that happened in the past? Are you worrying about future issues you can't control? Work on identifying negative thoughts that can lead to destructive behaviors and self-fulfilling prophecies.

6. Don't do anything. If no one is bleeding, nothing is smoking in the kitchen, and the bill collectors aren't breaking down the door, will it matter if you step back and just let things go for a while? Stop wearing yourself out trying to make things perfect. Life has a habit of getting in the way of perfection. Save your energy for the truly important things.

7. Turn disappointing people loose. Take the brother who never visits, the sister who won't help, and everyone else who has been a disappointment and put them in a mental box. Shove that box in the back of your junk drawer and move on. Focus on the positive people in your life and stop holding grudges (see #5). Move on with confidence. Forgive if you can. If you can't, put that in the box, too.