With the holiday season rapidly approaching again, I thought I'd tell you about a decision Eleanor made about this time last year. It's made a big difference in how much she's looking forward to the holiday season this year.

Eleanor cares for her husband of 50+ years. For all but one of those 50+ years Eleanor "did" Thanksgiving at her home. She prepared the table for 14. She roasted the bird and baked the pies. Although her sons and daughters gently suggested that they take over the fuss and bother, Eleanor resisted. She didn't want to give up the last small bit of tradition remaining from when her children were small.

And for the last several years, every Thanksgiving was a disaster. Eleanor exhausted herself with trying to clean and decorate her house. She worked late into the evenings baking and cooking ahead. She started the big day worn out. Her husband almost always had a mini-meltdown from the accumulated stress and was unable to stay at the dinner table. Cleanup, with several daughters, granddaughters and daughters-in-law in the kitchen, was chaos. At the end of the day Eleanor always went to bed with tears and a headache.

Last year, for the first time in many years, Eleanor's Thanksgiving was different. She listened to her family, and put herself into their capable hands. As her husband doesn't travel well, Thanksgiving was still at the old family homestead. But this time all Eleanor had to do was open the door. Her family donated the services of a cleaning crew. Three brisk young ladies were in and out in three hours, leaving the house clean and fresh. (Eleanor asked them to bypass the master suite, where her husband never even heard the vacuum).

On Thanksgiving day, each family arrived with a piece of dinner in a disposable platter or dish. This was plopped in the kitchen with disposable plates. As Eleanor said, it's a thrill to throw everything away at the end of the meal. They did use the good cutlery, because who wants to eat with a plastic fork, but that cleanup was a breeze.

Everyone filled a plate and sat down to a wonderful buffet dinner with no fuss and no muss. After dinner, Eleanor had the luxury of a good nap, knowing that she had volunteers to throw the silver in the dishwasher and keep her husband company.

At the end of the afternoon everyone said they actually had more fun than ever, and Eleanor now swears by their new "tradition." She's so happy with how it turned out that she's starting a new way of celebrating Christmas, too.

This year, her three children and their families will visit on three afternoons, instead of all together on the big day. One family will come on Christmas eve, one will come on Christmas afternoon, and the family with younger children will visit the day after Christmas so they can stay home on the big day and enjoy what Santa brought. This will spread out their holiday and be much less chaotic.

Is this the year to start a new tradition yourself? If you're hanging on to old traditions because "that's the way it's always been," this might be the time to try something new. Who says dinner always has to be at MeeMaw's house? For that matter, who says dinner always has to be turkey and a dozen sides? Maybe you'd rather have hamburgers and watch the game. If you have a large family, try spreading out the visitors so your care recipient doesn't become overwhelmed and you don't have to work so hard.

Remember this is your holiday, too. Don't be afraid to let your family know that you need their help now, and that a little time for yourself would be the best gift of all. You might be surprised to learn they've been wondering how to suggest the very same thing.