Was it only 20 years ago that Jo Horne wrote this everlasting list of Caregiver Rights? It was something every caregiver needed to hear then, and it remains so today. We need to re-read and reaffirm these every now and then:

•  I have the right to take care of myself. This is not an act of selfishness. It will give me the capability of taking better care of my relative.

•  I have the right to seek help from others even though my relative may object. I recognize the limits of my own endurance and strength.

•  I have the right to maintain facets of my own life that do not include the person I care for, just as I would if they were healthy.

•  I have the right to get angry, be depressed, and to express other difficult feelings occasionally.

•  I have the right to reject any attempt by my relative to manipulate me through guilt, anger, or depression.

•  I have the right to receive consideration, affection, forgiveness, and acceptance for what I do for my loved for as long as I offer these qualities in return.

•  I have the right to take pride in what I am accomplishing and to applaud the courage it has sometimes taken to meet the needs of my relative.

•  I have the right to protect my individuality and my right to make a life for myself that will sustain me in the time when my relative no longer needs my full-time help.

•  I have the right to expect and demand that as new strides are made in finding resources to aid physically and mentally impaired older persons in our country, similar strides will be made toward aiding and supporting caregivers.

Caregiving: Helping An Aging Loved One, 1987