Talk to professional caregivers and you'll often find they have strong kneejerk reactions against the idea of leaving anyone but a 100% functional person at home alone. They've been trained to think first of liability, and that transfers over when they give advice to caregivers. On the other hand, our care recipients will probably strongly disagree and argue that they are perfectly safe at home alone.

So where's the line? It will be different depending on whether your elder is disabled because of cognitive problems such as dementia, or is physically disabled but still fully able to comprehend.

Sometimes these concerns creep up. In the beginning we might have been able to go to work, or out for the evening, or at least run to the store for an hour or two. But one day that might not seem like such a good idea any more.

There are a few things that might make it easier to decide if it's still safe to leave without having someone else stay:

• Can he identify an emergency and call 911 if necessary?
  
  

• Could she get out of the house and find shelter without help?

• Would he be just as likely to invite total strangers into the house as family members or neighbors?

• Does she need help to use the bathroom?

• Even if he has never wandered before, if he were to go outside for any reason, is he at any risk of becoming lost?

• When left to her own devices, is she likely to try something that is dangerous or destructive, such as climbing up on a ladder, lighting a candle, or letting the water overflow?

• Does she become overly anxious when left alone? One sign of over-anxiety is multiple phone calls to you, other family members, or the authorities.

If you can still feel confident when you answer these questions, then it is probably still safe to leave your loved one at home alone. Keep the list in the back of your mind and review it often, because we all know that things do change.

If your answers to any of these questions left you feeling uneasy, then it's time to look for support so you can safely get out of the house. Depending on the amount and kind of care needed, your options might be another family member, a neighbor or a local teenager, or a paid professional.