You've done everything "they" say you should to get your documents in order. You have copies of the Powers of Attorney your elder signed. You want to get some information from his doctor, and you still hit a stone wall. What's up?

Find your Medical POA and read through it (you do know where it is, right?). If it says something like, "This medical power of attorney takes effect if I become unable to make my own health care decisions...," then it gives you no authority or legal access to medical information while the person you represent is able to make decisions.

As long as your elder is able he is entitled to keep medical information private, even from the person who may one day be making decisions for him.

If this is the position you find yourself in, what you need is an "Authorization to Release Information."

Whenever you go to the doctor you are asked to sign a form authorizing the release of your medical information to insurance companies, etc. This is the same kind of form your elder can sign to authorize release of information to you or anyone else she designates.

If your elder is agreeable to you having access to her medical information she should ask to put your name and contact information on a release form that will be included in her medical chart. She will have to do this at each individual doctor's office. This will work in the hospital, too. Have the patient ask for the form at admission.

Some medical offices are reluctant, or will downright refuse, to send a release form in the mail to be completed and returned. They want to be sure that no undue influence is being put on their patient to sign. So they will insist that the form be filled out and signed in their office. If your elder tends to forget to ask about filling out a release form and you can't go with him, you can call the office and ask them to put a form in the chart so the doctor or nurse will be reminded to offer it at the next office visit. Of course, they may or may not remember to do it.

Doctors don't have time to answer the same questions from several people. If there are multiple family members who will want information from the doctor the patient should appoint one to be spokesperson for the group. This person's name should be the one on the release form, and should ideally be the one who holds Medical Power of Attorney. The family spokesperson can then pass the information on to anyone else the elder wants informed.

Note that I said, "... to anyone else the elder wants informed." Just because you have access to his confidential medical information doesn't mean you can pass it along to whomever you choose without your elder's consent. If your elder has given you this kind of extremely personal privilege, please don't abuse it by gossiping or revealing more than you should to people he wouldn't want to have the information. When in doubt, ask first.