Eventually you'll have to deal with an insurance company, whether it's for yourself or for your parent. There are so many insurance companies. Each one has it's own schedule of what's covered and what's not, what needs pre-existing authorization and what doesn't.

You can't rely on the personnel in your doctor's office or at the hospital to have all the answers. If you want the straight skinny, or if you want to resolve a problem, you'll have to take the ball into your own hands.

The first thing you'll have to accept is that, unless the insurance company already has a signed authorization from the patient (a Release of Information or Power of Attorney For Health Care), you probably won't be able to get any information about or for another person. Privacy laws forbid the company from giving you information about anyone except yourself without authorization.

There are two ways to manage this if you are calling for your parent. You can have your parent with you when you call. Your parent will have to give verbal permission for the customer service agent to speak to you. Once your parent has jumped through all the identifying hoops (name, date of birth, Social Security number, mother's maiden name, etc.) the agent should be willing to answer your questions or provide the information you called for. Once you've hung up, if you have to call back another time your parent will have to be with you again for the same routine. This is unwieldy, at best.

If you can't have your parent with you when you call, or you'd prefer to make the calls without bothering your parent, you're probably going to have to lay some groundwork. This may take a few days.

Call your parent's insurance company and ask the customer service representative where you should send a copy of the Release of Information or Power of Attorney document singed by your parent. Fax is fastest, of course, if you have access to a machine. Make sure you put your parent's name, account number, ID number, and any other identifying information except the Social Security number on each page of your document. Expect to wait a week or so after you have faxed your document for it to be filed and entered into whatever electronic data system the insurance company uses. If you have mailed it, wait two weeks. Once your authorization is on file you should be able to speak with anyone at the company and get any kind of information you might need.

It's frustrating to have to wait to get a question or a bill clarified. If you have these documents on file with the insurance company before you need to call you will save yourself a great deal of time. Go ahead and send them a copy of your authorizing document now. Be sure to put all the identifying information on every page.

Be organized before you call. Have a spiral notebook, steno pad, or something self-contained where you can keep notes of all your communication with the insurance company. Have any documents you might need in front of you. Have your parent's full name, date of birth, address, Social Security number, and insurance ID# readily available.

Expect that the call will take a while. Don't try to call if you only have a few minutes. Count on having to use the keypad of your phone to enter various numbers several times before you get to a live person. Dialing "zero" to get out of the loop to an operator doesn't work as well as it used to, unfortunately. Expect to be put on hold or transferred several times before you get to the person best equipped to help. You may have to give your parent's identifiers again and again. It does no good to become exasperated. Stay calm.

Get names. Each time you get a new person on the line, before you do anything else, ask for his or her name. Write it in your notebook immediately. You can try to get a direct telephone number, too, in case you are disconnected, but don't be surprised if you can't.

Be clear about your question. If you have more than one, stay on topic with your first question until you have either resolved it or you clearly know what you have to do to get an answer. Take notes. Then move on your second question, if you have one.

Be polite, but be assertive. If you feel like you are being run around the flagpole you can politely ask to speak to a supervisor. Keep this option in reserve until you have no choice, however. It's a truism that you will catch more flies with honey.

Follow up. If you need to get documents from medical providers, or fill out a form, do so as soon as you can. Keep copies, and keep track of when you sent the additional information.

Stop calling. If you can't get the information you need, or if a problem continues to be unresolved, start writing. There's nothing like a polite, well-written letter, complete with dates, times and names, to get things moving along. If you must resort to writing a letter, include a another copy of your authorizing document (the Power of Attorney or Release of Information form). Don't send your letter to, "To Whom It May Concern." Use the members' handbook or the company website to get the name of the highest level manager you can find. This manager probably won't handle the matter personally, but your letter will get sent on to the proper person with instructions to make things happen. Send your letter Registered, Return Receipt Requested. This way you'll know it got there, and when. I guarantee you won't be able to read the signature of the person in the mail room who received it, but at least you'll know when it got into the building.