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Elder CareTips:
Mastering The Eldercare Maze™
November 15, 2006
Egad, It's The Holidays Again!
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Feel that
little
squinch of
anxiety when
you realize
that
Thanksgiving
is only 8
days away,
and December
is nipping
at its
heels?
Nipping? -
No, it's
more like
lunging.
Many
caregivers
tell me that
they'd like
to just move
the calendar
forward,
right now,
to January
2. The
thought of
another
over-scheduled,
over-fed,
over-anxious
"holiday" is
just about
more than
they can
bear.
Well, most
of us can't
quite get
away with
skipping the
whole thing,
but we can
start doing
things now
that will
make the
holidays a
lot more fun
and less
stressful.
Here are
seven ideas
to get you
started:
Plan
Ahead:
Anything you
can do ahead
of time will
reduce your
stress
levels and
make the
last days
before the
holiday much
more
enjoyable.
Make
planning
quiet
activities
for you and
your elder
part of the
process. Set
up a quiet
room so your
loved one
will have
some place
to retreat
if things
get too
rambunctious.
Simplify:
If you've
always made
a hundred
dozen
cookies for
the cookie
exchange,
this might
be the year
to either
bow out or
go
store-bought.
Let the
supermarket
make your
dinner. Some
will even
deliver.
Gift cards
are good
substitutions
for homemade
gifts that
always call
for last
minute late
night
finishing
sessions
when you're
already
exhausted.
Forget
decorating
the whole
house. Set
out a few
special
traditions
indoors and
skip the
roof lights
unless a
family
member
volunteers
to both put
up and
take down.
Get the
"take down"
part in
writing.
Set
Expectations:
Let friends
and family
know about
your loved
one's
abilities
and
limitations
before they
arrive. If
your elder
has new
behaviors,
interests,
likes or
dislikes,
let people
know. Inform
visitors
ahead of
time if your
loved one
has a
limited
tolerance
for visitors
so they
don't
outstay
their
welcome.
Reduce
Crowds:
Instead of a
large
gathering
try to
spread
visitors out
over several
hours or,
better yet,
over several
days. Thirty
or 40 people
in the house
at one time
is
overwhelming
for even the
healthiest
person. Even
with smaller
groups of
visitors you
might find
that your
quiet room
is called
into
service.
Be
Choosy:
Eliminate
activities
that you and
your elder
can't
participate
in and
enjoy. Make
modifications
to
traditional
activities
if they are
now too
difficult.
Take a drive
to see the
lights
instead of
trying to
carol at the
nursing
home. Avoid
crowded
malls and
shop via
catalog or
the internet
(self-serving
plug: check
out
The Corner
Store).
Light a fire
and watch
the
Nutcracker
on
television
instead of
going to the
theater.
Celebrate
Early:
Scheduling
your
celebration
activities
earlier in
the day will
reduce the
chances of
sundowning
or evening
crankiness.
Keep the
house as
well-lit and
bright
throughout
the day as
you can.
Make Your
List:
When someone
asks what
they can do,
tell them.
You might
draw a blank
if the
question
comes
without
warning.
Have your
list ready,
ASK and
DELEGATE.
And then
ACCEPT.
Accepting
help may
well be the
hardest of
all the
things on
this list
for you to
do. It's the
most
important,
and it's the
one that
will best
help you
survive, and
even enjoy,
the
holidays.
You don't have to let yourself be terrorized by other people's expectations of you.
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Elder CareTip:
The Holiday Table
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Just like
too much
going on in
the house
can be
overwhelming,
too much
happening
on the
holiday
dining table
can cause
confusion
and
agitation.
Flickering
candles and
sparkling
decorations
can be
distracting
and
confusing
and make it
hard to see.
Busy
decorative
tablecloths
with bold
patterns add
to the chaos
of an
unusual
number of
serving
plates and
new people
at the
table. Stick
with solid
table
coverings.
If you can,
serve plates
in the
kitchen or
from a
sideboard.
Keep the
table as
close to
"normal" as
possible for
anyone with
confusion
and your
elder should
eat better
and have a
much better
time (and so
will most
young
children).
Are you
looking for
housing
options for
yourself, an
aging
parent,
relative, or
friend? HUD
has a senior
citizen
housing site
that lists
apartments
for seniors
who don't
need routine
help with
activities
of daily
living or
nursing.
Visit the
HUD site
and click on
"Find an
Apartment."
Remember
that the
best usually
have waiting
lists and
plan
accordingly.
When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty "just adding water." Now I want to bang the tube against the countertop and have a five-course meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware and a plate that self-destructs, all the better.
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Desperate at Dinner Time? |
 Erma's
my kind
of gal.
Did you
ever
find
yourself
short on
time and
long on
hungry
family
(hah!)?
If
you're a
caregiver
when
aren't
you? Add
picky
eaters
to the
mix and
you have
desperation.
Desperation
Dinners
to the
rescue.
While
the
authors
claim
you can
make any
dinner
in the
book in
20
minutes,
if you
have
children
or an
elder
under
your
feet in
the
kitchen
you
might be
wiser to
target
30. The
meals
are
fairly
hearty,
and they
don't
call for
a trip
to the
gourmet
store
for
exotic
ingredients.
Most
everything
will
already
be in
your
cupboard.
One of
the best
features
is the
section
that
discusses
how to
set up
your
pantry
and
freezer
so that
you
always
have the
ingredients
on hand
to make
a great
dinner.
There
aren't
any
pictures
of
finished
meals.
This
might be
a
downside
for you
if you
like
glossy
coffee
table
cookbooks.
Not
including
pictures
kept the
cost
down,
and it
certainly
eliminates
the
disappointment
I often
feel
when my
finished
result
doesn't
look
like the
fancy
retouched
photo.
Ask for
a copy
of
Desperation
Dinners
as a
gift if
you're
like me
and
regularly
find
yourself
staring
hopelessly
into the
refrigerator
wondering
what to
fix
tonight.
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