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Elder CareTips:
Mastering The Eldercare Maze™
October 1, 2005
The Three Ps of
Eldercare
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Once upon a time there were 3 little pigs,
and they each had a set of two little parents who were
"getting up there."
The first little pig went merrily about his life, raising
his kids, dreaming
his dreams and visiting his little parents now and then.
They looked
hunky-dory and life was good. Until the phone rang at 3 am.
and the first
little pig's life came crashing about his ears. This little
pig's house of straw came tumbling down that morning and
he's never had the time to rebuild it as he scrambles from
crisis to crisis.
The second little pig lived in a fine, sturdy wooden house
of plans. He knew just what he would do when the phone rang.
And when it did he went right to work with his fine, sturdy
plans setting his little parents up with everything they
needed. Then he went back to raising his kids and dreaming
his dreams, never hearing the termites of change chewing
away at his fine, sturdy wooden house of plans. Until one
day his fine, sturdy wooden house of plans disintegrated in
a cloud of termite-ridden dust as his little parents' needs
grew too heavy to be supported. He's been too depressed to
rebuild.
The third little pig built his house with his own hands out
of the best
kiln-fired brick. He insulated it with contingency plans and
carpeted it
with determination, all with his own two little hands. He
cared for his
little parents and his children, and he dreamed his little
dreams, all with
his own two little hands in his sturdy brick house. Until
one day his little
back broke from the strain and he died.
And Thus Endeth the Parable.
There are 3 Ps to Elder Care:
Preparation, Progression, and Partnerships.
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Ignore any of these Ps and your eldercare
house just might come tumbling down.
Preparation: If you're not prepared when the call
comes, and one day it will for a parent or a spouse, you'll
be slow out of the starting gate and
scrambling to catch up. You may never be able to. If you
don't have the most basic medical and financial information,
and if you don't have some basic legal arrangements in order
you won't be able to do what must be done. The time to start
is now, even if the elders in question are hale and hearty.
Use the
Things You Need To Know workbook to get a head start,
and make it a point to start having the conversations you've
been putting off. That's Preparation.
Progression: Life is a progression from birth to
death. We may be able to prevent the first, but not the
second. And Murphy lives. Whatever plans you have in place
are certain to need change. The sitter will quit, the hip
will break, the dementia will progress. Prepare for
Progression by trying to anticipate and making contingency
plans.. Learn what can, and what can't, be fixed...and how.
And expect the unexpected. Plan for Progression.
Partnerships: Trying to do it alone is the one
certain guarantee of failure.
Caregivers who go it alone because, "I made a vow" or, "No
one can do it as well as I can" or, "He won't let anyone
else help him" often get ill or die before the person they
are caring for. Caregivers who go it alone risk
sentencing both their care recipients and themselves to
physical and
financial hardship and a poorer quality of life. When you
partner with
family, friends, professionals and community resources your
caregiving will be supported in a way it can never be when
you stand alone. Plan for Progression with your Partners.
So those are the three Ps of eldercare.
Planning,
Progression and
Partnerships. Make them part of your vocabulary.
| Knowing is not enough; we
must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.
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Do you or anyone you know/care for have
arthritis or fibromyalgia? The
Arthritis Foundation
has a plethora (I love that word)
of information
including the latest on surgery, online brochures, and
tips for
living with arthritis. If you haven't been by in a while
it's worth a visit.
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Elder CareTip:
Traveling With O2 |
Use supplemental oxygen and want to travel?
Visit the
Society for
Accessible Travel Hospitality at or the Department of
Transportation disability hotline at 800.778.4838 for
resources for oxygen delivery to a U.S. vacation
destination. Note: A recent decision to permit portable
oxygen delivery systems on some planes is now in effect.
However, be sure to contact your carrier before booking your
flight to make sure that the policy is valid for that
airline.
| What we anticipate seldom
occurs; what we least expect generally happens.
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