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Elder CareTips:
Mastering The Eldercare Maze™
July 1,
2005
Please, Please, Take
Me Home:
When The Dementia Patient
Doesn't Recognize Home
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A lot of older folks with confusion go through a stage of
"wanting to go home." No matter how often they're told they
are at home, they don't seem to recognize it as home. No
matter how poor their memory, the desire to "go home" crops
up over and over, and there's no diverting it.
No one can really get inside the thoughts and emotions of
someone
with medium to later stages of a dementing illness. The
experts are
probably getting fairly close to the truth when they say the
present is becoming more and more strange, unfamiliar and
frightening.
The desire to go home is probably the same desire you or I
would have if we found ourselves in a strange and
unreasonable place. We would want to go back to the home we
remember as safe, secure, and predictable. For the dementia
patient this home is most often the home of their childhood,
where they were surrounded by their parents and other loved
ones. These are the people they remember most clearly, as
their more recent memories are slowly eaten away.
The "home" they are usually looking for isn't a particular
house. Many would not recognize the house if you took them
there. It's the lost feelings of warmth, security, strength
and optimism of childhood and youth that they seem to yearn
for.
So what do you do when the person you care for is obsessed
with wanting to go home?
First, try not to argue about whether your loved one is
"home." If he or she doesn't recognize it as "home" at that
moment, then for that moment it isn't home.
Try diversion. Sometimes it actually works. Try going out
for a short walk, or a drive. There's a real chance that, on
coming back in the door, it may look like home again. For a
while.
Read The Rest...
Dear God,
I read the bible.
What does beget mean?
Nobody will tell me.
Love Alison
From Children's Letters To God |
Some pills can be really hard to swallow,
so ask your doctor or pharmacist if it would be safe to
grind it up and combine it with food. If they say this would
not be a good idea, try using a fruit nectar instead
of water. The thicker liquid is easier to swallow. Or put
the pill in a spoonful of applesauce, pudding or honey.
Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that
special occasion. Stop withholding your love until
that special person materializes. Every day you are
alive is a special occasion.
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The air conditioner went out on Saturday.
Now, unless you live in Texas or another of the hotter 'n
hot states this might not sound like anything to whine
about. Let me tell you, I felt personally entitled to a
whole lot of whining. Of course, the silly thing croaked
it's last at 10:00 on a Saturday morning. You probably know
exactly how much luck we had finding someone to come fix it
over the weekend.
Even the poor cat was comatose.
And why do I think my uncomfortable weekend is worthy of
your attention? Because if I had been your elder my life
might really have been threatened, instead of just
miserable. Older folks' bodies don't
regulate extreme temperatures well. Older folks don't always
know
when they should be drinking more water.
This is the time of year when we're going to start to see
news stories
about older people who died during a heat wave.
Please make sure that your elder has working fans in the
house, as
well as a recently-serviced air conditioner. Be sure that
there is extra
bottled water in the house, just in case. Check on your
older neighbors,
too, if you haven't seen them and the temperatures get
excessive.
And if you can, please buy a fan on your next trip to the
store. Donate
it to one of the local organizations that distributes fans
to the elderly. It will cost you very little, and you may
literally save someone's life.
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